Smileys and Emoticons, Assicons, Boobiecons, and Haiku Error Msg's

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Smileys and Emoticons ;-)

A smiley is a sequence of characters on your computer keyboard. If you don't see it, try tilting your head to the left -- the colon represents the eyes, the dash represents the nose and the right parenthesis represents the mouth. Smileys usually follow after the punctuation (or in place of the punctuation) at the end of a sentence. A smiley tells someone what you really mean when you make an offhand remark. They are also called emoticons because they intend to convey emotion!

(y):-p    Donald Trump >.<    Pucker face - it's a straight-on smiley @>--;--    A rose
0*-)    Angel wink - female :-Z    Angry face >:-(    Annoyed
~~8-O    Bad-Hair Day :-)    Basic :~-(    Bawling
(:-{~    Beard - long %-|    Been up All Night (:-)    Big Face
(((H)))    Big Hug =|:o}    Bill Clinton smiley ?-(    Black Eye
#-)    Blinking I:(    Botox smiley %-6    Brain Dead
:-E    Bucktoothed Vampire :-#|    Bushy Mustache })i({    Butterfly - an even prettier one
q:-)    Catcher ;-(    Chin up :-.)    Cindy Crawford
:-8(    Condescending Stare H-)    Cross-Eyed :*(    Crying softly
:-@!    Cursing %-}    Dizzy :*)    Drinking every night
:#)    Drunk :-6    Eating Something Spicy 5:-)    Elvis
0|-)    Enjoying the Sun >-)    Evil Grin l:-O    FlatTop Loudmouth
=:-H    Football player :^{=    Frank Zappa /:-)    Frenchman with a beret
*:*    Fuzzy ~~:-(    Getting Rained On :o?    Grinning and sticking tongue out (type ALT+0222 on righthand number keypad)
:-})    Handlebar Mustache :%)%    Has Acne :-`|    Have a Cold
l^o    Hepcat (_8^(|)    Homer Simpson *^_^*    Huge Dazzling Grin - it's a straight-on smiley
:0    Hungry %*}    Inebriated (8 {    John Lennon
:-*    Kiss on the cheek >*    Kitty doesn't like taking its pill :p    Kitty with tongue hanging out
@(*0*)@    Koala - it's a straight-on smiley (-:    Left Hand >;->    Lewd Remark
";-, "    "Like, Duh" %+{    Lost a Fight X-(    Mad
:-(*)    Makes Me Sick @@@@:-)    Marge Simpson #:-)    Messy Hair
:)    Midget :-3    Mustache (Handlebar Type) :-#    My Lips Are Sealed
):-(    Nordic 8-O    Omigod! 8>    Penguin
3:]    Pet Dog :---)    Pinnochio 3:[    Pitbull
+<:-)    Pope +:-)    Priest ?-)    Proud of black eye
=:-(    Punk Not Smiling :-r    Rasberry :-C    Real Unhappy
:-))    Really Happy [:]    Robot 3:*>    Rudolph the red nose reindeer
:(    Sad Turtle :-y    Said with a Smile variation *<|:-)    Santa Claus
:-@    Screaming $__$    Sees Money 8-0    Shocked
:-V    Shouting ~:-P    Single Hair ':-/    Skeptical again
O-)    Smiley After Smoking a Banana ":-, "    Smirk :- i    Smoking a cig
:-Q    Smoking while talking :-( <|    Standing Firm %-)    Staring at a Screen for 15 hours
/8^{~    "Sunglasses, Mustache, Goatee" `:-)    Sweating :-0    Talkative
-(:)(0)=8    Teletubby :- ?    Tongue Sticking Out :-a    Tongue Touching Nose
}(:-(    Toupee Blowing in Wind x:-/    Uncertain :-|    Unfazed
|:-|    Unyielding :-)))    Very Happy (:-(    Very Unhappy
@:-)    Wavy Hair [:-)    Wearing a Walkman B-)    Wearing Glasses
]-I    Wearing Sunglasses :-1    Whatever ;^?    Wigged Out
",-) "    Winking Happy 8<:-)    Wizard :~)    Wondering
l-O    Yawning :-(0)    Yelling $-)    Yuppie
=)    Happy face :D    "Sweet, big smile for you" O:-)    Angel
0;-)    Angel wink - male :-{{    Angry Very ~:o    Baby
d:-)    Baseball :-{0    Basic Mustache :-){    Beard
: =    Beaver :-)^<    Big Boy :-)8<    Big Girl
:-X    Big Wet Kiss (:-D    Blabber Mouth (:-    Blank Expression
:-]    Blockhead :-}X    Bow Tie-Wearing :-(=)    Bucktoothed
:-F    Bucktoothed Vampire with One Tooth Missing }|{    Butterfly }:-X    Cat
C=:-)    Chef *<<<<+    Christmas Tree *<):o)    Clown
%)    Confused :`-(    Crying &:-)    Curly Hair
>:->    Devilish :3-]    Dog :-B    Drooling out of Both Sides of Mouth
<:-l    Dunce (:-|    Egghead :-}    Embarrassed Smile
>:)    Evil G(-'.'G)    Fighting Kid - it's a straight-on smiley :-!    Foot in Mouth
:-W    Forked Tongue %*@:-)    Freaking Out 8)    Frog
*:*}    Fuzzy With a Mustache 8*)    Glasses and a Half Mustache }:-)    Hair Parted in the Middle Sticking up on Sides
:-'    Has a Dimple :(#)    Has Braces variation /;-)    Heavy Eyebrows - Slanted
(_8(|)    Homer Simpson (^~^~^)    Hot Ass Walking Away %*@:-(    Hungover with headache
o[-<]:    I am a skater or I like to skate (|):-)=II=    Jewish Blonde @:-}    Just Back From Hairdresser
">^,,^< "    Kitty Cat - it's a straight-on smiley ~*=    Kitty running away from you >:-l    Klingon
%OD    Laughing like crazy ?-:    Left Handed Tongue Touching Nose :-9    Licking Lips
8:-)    Little Girl |-(    Lost Contact Lenses &-l    Makes Me Cry
:-S    Makes No Sense @|-)    Meditating Smiley 8(:-)    Mickey Mouse
:-{    Mustache {:-{)}    Mustache and Beard (-)    Needs Haircut
:/)    Not Amused :=)    Orangutan :^)    Personality
:8)    Pig P-(    Pirate }:^#)    Pointy Nosed
:-t    Pouting X:-)    Propeller Head =:-)    Punk
<(-'.'-)>    Puppy dog - it's a straight-on smiley (((((:-{=    Rave Dude ~:-(    Really Bummed Out
([(    Robocop @};---    Rose :-(    Sad
:-d    Said with a smile M:-)    Saluting :->    Sarcastic
)8-)    Scuba Diver with Hair :-i    Semi-Smile +-(    Shot Between the Eyes
:O    Singing :-/    Skeptical :-7    Skeptical variation
):-)    Smiley with Hair ;^)    Smirking :-?    Smoking a pipe
~~~~8}    Snake =%-O    Stared at Computer Way Too Long (8-{)}    "Sunglasses, Mustache, Beard"
:0    Surprised ",:-) "    Sweating on the Other Side &-|    Tearful
:-)---    Thin as a Pin :-&    Tongue Tied *!#*!^*&:-    Total Head Case
<:>==    Turkey =):-)    Uncle Sam |:-)    Unibrow
:-[    Vampire %')    Very Tired :-<    Walrus
{(:-)    Wearing a Toupee 8-)    Wearing Contacts :-{}    Wearing Lipstick
{:-)    Wears a Toupee ":-"" "    Whistling '-)    Winking
;-)    Winking variation :-)8 :    Woman ",-} "    Wry and Winking
|^o    Yawning or Snoring variation =8-0    Yikes!   

Assicons (_!_)

A funny take on emoticons, "assicons" (like boobiecons) involve another body part. Known as straight-on smileys (because unlike the traditional smiley, you don't have to tilt your head to see it).

(_!_)    A regular ass (__!__)    A fat ass (__)(__)    A "wide load" ass
(!)    A tight ass (_*_)    A sore ass {_!_}    A swishy ass
(_o_)    An ass that's been around (_x_)    Kiss my ass (_X_)    Leave my ass alone
(_zzz_)    A tired ass (_E=mc2_)    A smart ass (_?_)    Dumb ass
(_Lame_)    Lame ass (_jack_)    Jackass (_-$_)    Cheap ass
(_0_)    A Prison ass (_)    Half ass (®^®)    Registered ass
(__|___)    Lop sided ass (_:_)    2 holed ass (_O_)    Cavernous ass (an ass that's REALLY been around)
(Mom)(__)    Tattooed ass (_)||(_)    F#^&*d ass ()()    Ass print on a window
( * * )    Ass with dimples (_X X_)    A kicked ass (_%_)    An average ass
(_$_)    A rich ass [_!_]    A hard ass   

Boobiecons (.Y.)

Another funny take on emoticons, "boobiecons" (like assicons) involve another body part. Known as straight-on smileys (because unlike the traditional smiley, you don't have to tilt your head to see it).

.Y.    flat boobies
(.Y.)    curvy boobies
( . Y . )    fat boobies
( o Y o )    boobiecons
(.)(.)    little boobies
(o)(o)    regular boobies
( O )( O )    big boobies
( ' ) ( ' )    perky boobies
( , ) ( , )    droopy boobies
{.} {.}    cold boobies
( @ ) ( @ )    hairy boobies
[ _ ] [ _ ]    android boobies
( $ )( $ )    silicon boobies

Haiku Error Messages

In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with Haiku poetry messages. Haiku poetry has strick construction rules, each poem has only 17 syllables; 5 syllables in the first, 7 in the second, and 5 in the third. They are used to communicate a timeless message, often achieving a wistful, yearning and powerful insight through extreme brevity (and are much better than "Your computer has performed an illegal operation.") Here they are:

Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.


The Web site you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.


Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.


Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.


Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.


Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.


First snow, then silence.
This thousand-dollar screen dies
So beautifully.


With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.


The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao - until
You bring fresh toner.


Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.


A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.


Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.


You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.


Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.


Having been erased,
The document you are seeking
Must now be retyped.


Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.


Enjoy